A Grandfather’s Visit to the Braiding Salon
What I Learned That Day Will Never Be Forgotten
By Gary Johnson - Founder Gary Johnson Media, LLC
June 6, 2024
Why is this post about Black women and “black hair” being featured on a Black male online magazine? Because, I am a Black grandfather, with 3 Black granddaughters. And like many people, I did not understand the enormous complexities that Black women and girls experience connected to their hair as little girls that continue throughout their adult life.
I raised boys and was blessed to have 3 granddaughters. Last week, I was asked to take my 8-year-old granddaughter to the beauty shop to get her hair braided. That was a unique experience. I was briefed in advance that this could be a difficult visit as my granddaughter’s last 3 visits included a lot of tears and crying to the point where the beautician was upset because did not want to hurt her. In fact, I was told that at her last visit, my granddaughter cried to the point where a waiting customer, went next door to the “cupcake store” to give her a treat to distract her and stop her from crying.
Given this information, I put on my “Granddad Hat” and talked to my granddaughter about her fear and why she was afraid. As she explained her fears, I was able to take her down a path of “focused logic” that an 8-year-old could understand. I acknowledged some of her fears and was able to get her to accept or manage that some of her fears were overblown or imagined. She explained that the shop smelled like "nasty chemicals." We talked about how that's not pleasant and I explained that some of the products that make your hair look and smell good are chemicals and that the smell doesn't last forever.
I used to coach Fortune 500 and top government and military executives. I earned many certifications throughout my career. I had NOTHING to lose transferring these skills to help a scared 8-year-old girl navigate what she believed to be a traumatic experience.
Rule #1: Deal with people from where they are, accept that what they say and feel is “REAL” to them, and then develop your plan to help them with those key factors in mind.